Old jokes for birthday

Old People Birthday Jokes -- Old People Birthday Jokes You have a choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier. The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique. The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style. Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient Funny birthday jokes make getting older more fun! Whether you're looking for a funny joke to write in a birthday card or a happy birthday joke to add humor to a party, this list is sure to fill it. Read up on our old age jokes and getting old jokes to live forever. Getting old doesn't have to be sad. Make fun of those grey hairs with these old people jokes and jokes for seniors Funny Old Age Birthday Quotes. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. New York Times, 1974. Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art Happy birthday! What, it ISN'T your birthday? Well, we must have gotten the wrong information! You know what, how about we just give you 54 hilarious Birthday Jokes instead

Old People Birthday Joke

  1. ute egg, they ask for the money up front. — George Burns. Catch-22. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. — Billy Crystal. Don't miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers. 12 / 14. Photo: Shutterstock
  2. Age one liners. I grew a beard thinking it would say Distinguished Gentleman. Instead, turns out it says, Senior Discount, Please! One liner tags: age, attitude. 82.78 % / 1668 votes. When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive..
  3. 24. How do pickles celebrate their birthday? They relish it. 25. What does a turtle do on its birthday? Shell-ebrates. 26. What's the cleanest type of birthday party joke? One that's a soap-prise. 27. What happens when you invite a thief to your birthday party? They take the cake! 28. What kind of cake do you eat if you are sick on your.
  4. 50+ Very Best Birthday Jokes. Q. What do penguins sing on a birthday? A. Freeze a jolly good fellow! Q. Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? A. Because it was marble cake! Q
  5. Give mom or dad a chuckle on their special day with these funny birthday jokes. You're not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience! You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday! Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday! Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive
  6. senior joke old lady birthday lovemaking joke massage lonely legs motel smile afraid muscles abs six-pack. Rate: Dislike Like. Brain Puns. What do neurons do on their birthdays? They cell-ebrate. The Brother, the Sister, and the Hot Dogs
  7. Throw more than just confetti with these happy birthday puns and jokes. Happy birthday to you! Make everyone laugh with these funny birthday jokes that will make you the life of the party

More Old Age Jokes. When you get old, your secrets are safe with your friends. They'll never share them because they can't remember them. At my age, I don't want to eat health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. You can't be young forever, but immaturity can last a life time. I'm done with wild oats. Now I'm into prunes and All Bran Joke has 84.97 % from 795 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, husband, marriage, wife. For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.

One liner tags: animal, birthday, puns. 82.61 % / 434 votes. I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you. One liner tags: birthday. 79.57 % / 946 votes. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. One liner tags: attitude, birthday, life, puns. 78.91 % / 377 votes Following is our collection of funny Old People jokes.There are some old people ancient jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. Dirty Old Man Joke #536. An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation.

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18th Birthday Jokes. 18 is a scary, but exciting age for most. They're beginning college, can officially buy cigarettes, and go to clubs - yet their parents still treat them like they're 14. This age makes for great birthday jokes. Happy 18th Birthday, now you can have freedom, but not too much A Prolific Source for 50th Birthday Jokes: The Late Joan Rivers. A wonderful source of jokes about getting old: the late Joan Rivers. You can find tons of her material on YouTube. Use her material for inspiration, rather than copying her jokes. Or just tell stories about her and the jokes. Another Good Laug Old Age Jokes. 1. Happy birthday - I'm so glad you'll always be older than me 2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional! 3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you're a little afraid of what they'll look like 4

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Old Age Jokes: Old People Jokes and Jokes for Seniors


If you're searching for the right thing to say on your friend or family member's birthday or lighten the mood on your own, look no further than the following birthday jokes and puns. We guarantee that they're almost as sweet as the birthday cake you're about to devour 60th Birthday Jokes about Aging. Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, I may as well pee while I'm here. You know you're old when you can't get your rocking chair started! You know you are getting old when you look forward to a DULL evening. We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. You know you are getting old when the little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife 1. 40 is when the phone rings on Saturday night. And you hope it isn't for you! For more silliness beyond 40th birthday jokes, here are 50 Amazing Jokes from Comedy Legends. 2. A doctor says to his patient. You have the body of a 20-year-old but you should return it. You're stretching it all out of shape

54 Birthday Jokes! Best Jokes and Pun

Funny Birthday Jokes. by Stephen on January 29, 2013. A few months before his sixtieth birthday, George began planning his party. He called up his 30-year-old daughter for some help. Why don't you invite all your old high school buddies? she asked. That could be a lot of fun.. I'd like to bring all my high school buddies to. So, instead of feeling old and frustrated, one should make the most of this occasion. If you know someone who is about to turn 50 in sometime, along with a birthday party and the usual birthday jazz, you can actually use these funny 50th birthday jokes to make their lips curl upwards more than just once 2. You can laugh at all the old jokes. 3. You make new friends every day. I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance. So I pushed her over. I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say, you're next. They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals 50th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair. You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Don't worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise. Those aren't grey hair you see

Old Man Birthday Wishes; With old age comes new skills: you can laugh, cough, sneeze and piss yourself all at once! Happy Birthday! I was going to make a joke to mark your birthday but the fact you're still alive is nothing short of a miracle and should be celebrated Best birthday jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 64 Birthday jokes - page 2. A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything Feb 22, 2021 - Explore Jolanta Uzulina's board Old Friend Jokes on Pinterest. See more ideas about birthday quotes, birthday humor, friend jokes Funny birthday jokes, even those from the always optimistic Jerry Seinfield, add the most important ingredients to any birthday: laughter, fun and frivolity. Birthday jokes are like birthday cakes and gifts - must haves. So along with the best birthday gifts, make sure you have the best funny birthday jokes by choosing from the selection below

SAVE TO FOLDER. Hulk Hogan Jokes, Birthday Jokes For Men, 0%. KAPPIT. So what if you're 80 now! It could be much worse. If you were a dog, you would be 560 years old today! Happy 80th birthday! SAVE TO FOLDER 4 Q&A Birthday Jokes ; 5 You Know You're Old when 6 Hilarious Birthday Messages for all; Funny Birthday Messages for Friends. When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don't look a day over a hundred The Key to Being Funny. Even the funniest 50th birthday jokes lose their humor if you overdo it. So, stick with a few well-placed zingers instead of lobbing one-liners at the birthday boy or girl all day long. Keep the mood light, and make sure the honoree knows that all the jokes are just a way of showing how much he or she means to you

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Dirty Limericks. The other so big it won prizes. and his balls were all covered in weeds. And now his future is past. if my ear was a c**t I would f**k it. Heavens Above! Oh! you ain't put it in the right 'un! Had a thing for a woman's knee Birthday Quotes And Jokes. Birthday quotes and jokes that take the cake. No need to fake it, make it a real celebration with funny stuff like this: 21st, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 65th, 80th, and General Birthday Humor.Cheers Funny Birthday Sayings and Wise Old Age Quotes Great for Cards and Speeches • Spice up your birthday cards, birthday gifts or birthday speeches with these funny birthday sayings and funny birthday quotes! • Most of these funny age quotes and old age sayings are spoken from a place of high awareness that is blessed with positive, yet sharp. Funny old people meme will show you that elders move with the times, embracing the Internet and social networks, making funny selfies, wearing weird T-shirts and leaving scoffing comments. Tattooed, witty, and trendy old people be like Ok, dear kids, challenge accepted!. On second thought, the rising generation cannot help laughing at.

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Cheeky 'Your first bike' old age joke card - Funny birthday card. WellBredDesign. From shop WellBredDesign. 5 out of 5 stars. (1,102) 1,102 reviews. $4.19. Favorite. Add to Funny Old woman Joke Happy Birthday Greeting Card - Great Happy Bday Gift for Mom, Sister, Wife, Daughter, Girlfriend | 30th 40th 50th 60th 70th - Comes w/ envelope and seal [BIG 9 inch X 6 inch size] Visit the GIFTING GIGGLES Store. 4.8 out of 5 stars 75 ratings Funny 50th Birthday Quotes for a comical quota of 50s reality. (Reality is a place that requires humor.) These hilarious birthday jokes will kick you into the fifties with a laugh, so you can kick up your heels, high or not. 50th Birthday Humor Quotes, Group Birthday Joke 11 A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. What's the matter? she asked. It's my birthday! he hollered. And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . . and he had to stop. Happy birthday Old man funny. Happy birthday old man and save some air to blow off candles. Best Birthday wishes to an old fart what at least you know I am still breathing hope you have an awesome day. Some words of wisdom for your birthday smile while you still have teeth. Happy bday and some you may be getting old but look on the Bright Side

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Use these funny jokes birthday wishes for the old man to wish your friends in a unique way. Also if you have a funny relationship with your grandfather or any other old person, you can use these wishes to crack a laugh out of them and also make them feel happy on their special day. 1). Old age birthday jokes birthday funny quotes 50. You are always being asked to do things and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. Jul 11 2017 explore alice adler s board 70th birthday funny quotes on pinterest. They graduated school without google or wikipedia. So the whole act your age thing Looking for some 40th birthday jokes? Let me guess, your chum is turning 40, and you are thinking of giving the old fellow a nice time by pulling his leg on his birthday! You are approaching your 40th birthday yet another step in your life, when all of a sudden, the past 39 years seem to blink as a mere memory

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50th birthday quotes for people who have reached the half-century mark. Funny and humorous jokes and sayings about turning 50. Messages for a 5 decade old, one liner

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  1. Or maybe you know someone who's going to be celebrating their 40th birthday soon and you want a few good jokes to poke a little good-natured fun at them? If so, then these 40th birthday jokes are just what you need! Funny 40th Birthday Jokes. I may by 40, but I feel like a 20 year old every morning when I wake up
  2. 50th Birthday Face Mask / Funny 50 Years Old Joke / Fiftieth Anniversary Gift / Birthday Mask / Filter Pocket / Adjustable Ear Loops NJ2047. CosmosConcept. From shop CosmosConcept. 4.5 out of 5 stars. (382) 382 reviews
  3. senior joke old lady birthday lovemaking joke massage lonely legs motel smile afraid muscles abs six-pack. Rate: Dislike Like. Puns. When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats. This phenomenon is known as many paws. The Old Lady and the Bank CEO
  4. g older and wider! I like birthdays but I think too many can kill you. Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get. ~ Robert Orben. A word of wisdom for you on your birthday: Smile while you've still got teeth! Happy Birthday! First Part. Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes
  5. Follow Us: Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Another joke tells the story of a man that buys his wife perfume for her 70th birthday as a way to surprise her because she is expecting.
  6. A man moves to a new house. For the first three days on the way to work he sees a woman hitting her son with a log of bread. On the fourth day, she's hitting him with a cake. He asks what is going on. The woman replies, well, it is his birthday. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake

Best Jokes and puns for greetings for birthday Best

  1. Get the best daily dad jokes in your inbox. My wife called and gave me a list of things she'd like to do for her 32nd birthday. I replied, There's no way can we do all that in 30 seconds!. A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm. Do you make fish cakes? he asked
  2. Senior jokes are always funny, especially funny old people jokes. So if you want to have some old fun, then read our senior jokes. ). ). Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. 100 characters remaining. Post Cancel. Get link for other Social Networks.
  3. Happy Birthday, you old softy. Welcome to the curmudgeonly years, you crusty old bastard you. Happy Birthday to a relic from a bygone era. I was going to make fun of you on your birthday. Fortunately for you, I was taught to respect my elders. Better to be an old fart than a dumb ass. Happy Birthday! Birthdays suck when you're old, but at.
  4. Click Here for 20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Photographers! 6. Go crazy and have that second cup of pudding, it's your birthday! 7. Happy birthday old man! You're not just over the hill, I'm not sure you can even see it in your rearview mirror! 8. Want to go out for your birthday! I promise I'll have you back for your 8pm bedtime
  5. Birthday Girl Jokes has a variety pictures that associated to find out the most recent pictures of Birthday Girl Jokes here, and next you can acquire the pictures through our best birthday girl jokes collection.Birthday Girl Jokes pictures in here are posted and uploaded by Adina Porter for your birthday girl jokes images collection
  6. Funny Jokes to Put On A Birthday Card has a variety pictures that combined to locate out the most recent pictures of Funny Jokes to Put On A Birthday Card here, and plus you can acquire the pictures through our best funny jokes to put on a birthday card collection.Funny Jokes to Put On A Birthday Card pictures in here are posted and uploaded by Adina Porter for your funny jokes to put on a.
  7. Birthdays have inspired some of the funniest birthday jokes, quotes and sayings. So, sit back and get ready to read some of the funniest birthday jokes around. If you've got a few jokes of your own, share them below. Let's See If You Can Answer These Birthday Jokes Q: What do you give 900-pound gorilla for his birthday

You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course. When you're told to act your own age, and you die. Birthday One Liners. Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. Dear google 64 Yo Mama is so Old... Jokes << We have over 30 Categories of Yo Mama Jokes on our Main Page! Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out. Yo mama is so old that the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo mama is so old that she drove a chariot to high school Best Old Age Joke. Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the cute boy in science class, lived on that street

Birthday Jokes: Share Our Funny Birthday Jokes Reader's

These birthday jokes for kids will make the birthday star smile, not to mention make party guests giggle, too. Check out these ideas for party fun or to write in a birthday card. Birthday Knock Knock Jokes. Here's some of our favorite silly and fun birthday knock knock jokes for children of all ages - Enjoy Want to spread happiness with some of the best Funny Birthday Jokes , looking inside all of the birthday cards to find the right one, prefer to send an e-Card to your friend on his or her special day, or even like making your own, there are many different ways you can make a message that is just the right to wish well for your friend Read on to find 35 hilarious happy birthday jokes for children that will make your birthday party a super hit event! Kid-Friendly Birthday Jokes That Your Children Will Surely Love Read on to get some safe and kid-friendly 8-year old birthday jokes that your kids would love Category Archives: Old peoples jokes Post navigation ← Older posts. 90th birthday. Posted on September 25, 2016 by Harry. A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.. Jokes for teens. Our expert humourologists have determined the most age appropriate jokes for teens. It can be very difficult to be sure that teens find anything at all funny, because they often work hard on maintaining a straight face

Turning 40 Joke 18 At turning 40, your idea of weight lifting is standing up. Turning 40 Joke 19 Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. Turning 40 Joke 20 Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent. Turning 40 Joke 21 Getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative. Turning. 50+ Birthday knock knock jokes for kids teens and adults August 27, 2020 July 17, 2019 by admin Birthday knock-knock jokes: In this article, you will find amusing and hilarious and birthday jokes in English Walking into a room and remembering why £2.29 GBP. Add to cart. As get older eyesight goes £2.39 GBP. Add to cart. You know you're old when £2.39 GBP. Add to cart. Still got it - just needs Ibuprofen £2.50 GBP. Add to cart. Topless sunbathing days were over £2.39 GBP

Getting Older Joke

  1. You may wonder what a bad memory joke is. Here is a good example. Its grandma's 80th birthday and you want to get the audience laughing. So you start going on and on about her first husband who left her in a latch, left her in a bad place and she had to struggle to get out of it
  2. Either way, I hope you have a great 55th birthday. Spent celebrating in a fun and festive way. —. Happy 55th birthday, man, you still have so much going for you. You still have most of your hair and some of your teeth, too. You are aging well in spite of what the mirror may say. Hold your head up high as you celebrate anyway
  3. Mummy: 20th of April. -. Little Johnny: Wow, what a coincidence. It is the exact date when I have my birthday. You've really made it if you become more than 100 years old. Statistically, there are very few people over 100 that die. I asked my wife what she'd like for her birthday. -
  4. Funny Joke - Hilarious - An Old Lady Has A Birthday Party And You Will Never Guess Her GiftsWelcome to The Joke StoreLaughing is literally the cheapest form.
  5. Funny Birthday Wishes: From humorous quotes about getting old to banter about wrinkles and maturity, this post is a notoriously funny hot pot of birthday messages. Whether it is your best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, colleague, mom or dad - their birthday is your chance to get under their skin with jokes

Best birthday jokes ever - Unijokes

  1. The 60th birthday is a day when you can officially start joking about how old a person is. Usually, birthday jokes are treated similar to roasts, where the butt-end of the joke is the person who is the center of the celebration. The best jokes are those that are based on the truth about the birthday boy or girl
  2. No matter what the age, a birthday is a day to be recognized and celebrated. You can use these funny birthday quotes in cards, in an email or in a text message. Let the person know you are thinking of them and make them smile! Famous Funny Birthday Quotes; I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. Francis.
  3. Discover and share Old Man Funny Birthday Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love
  4. Getting Old Quotes Sayings. Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form. - Andre Maurois. The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
  5. These Funny Getting Older Jokes are Quotes. An Idaho man said, At my age, by the time I find temptation, I'm too tired to give in to it. George Burns once said, If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. An aging gentleman in the hospital refused to eat a bowl of jello
  6. 50th Birthday Roast Jokes. Are you looking for some funny 50th birthday jokes, then you are in the right place. Turning 50 is a milestone in anyone's life, so it should be celebrated in a great way and this occasion is a good excuse for a laugh too. So why not, we should use some 50th birthday jokes to celebrate this occasion
  7. I have a joke for your birthday: It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. Happy funny birthday my friend! 8. I want to use your 16th birthday to let you know that you are the best friend in the world. I just want to thank you for being there for me when I need you 9. You are growing up way too fast

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Thinking of funny 40th birthday sayings on the spur of the moment is tricky. My mind always goes a blank when I'm presented with a birthday card and expected to sign it with some 40th birthday humour. Here's some ideas for you. 40 is only 18 years old with 22 years of experience; Naughty fort The sources of Ole and Lena jokes are in part [F3]: Older immigrant jokes that give the stock characters, the tone, and a setting for many of the jokes. But not a few of the current jokes are assembled and adapted from a common stock (or pool) which typifies Midwestern humour Funny Birthday Joke Getting Old Vintage Car Pun Card. $3.45. 25% Off with code BIRTHDAYSALE. Birthday Jokes For Kids. * What is the left side of a birthday cake? - The side that's not eaten! * What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? - A birthday pheasant! * Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? - It was feeling crumby! * Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? - In a cat-alogue Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious birthday knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens and adults. Holiday Jokes 13 Birthday Jokes 22 Christmas Jokes 59 Easter Jokes 38 Halloween Jokes 22 Party Jokes 9 Present Jokes 15 Saint Patrick's Day 7 Thanksgiving Jokes 27. Do you have a funny knock knock joke

56+ Old People Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Lou

57. Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer? It was a pound cake. Yo Mama Jokes for Kids. 58. Yo Mama so small her best friend is an ant. 59. Yo Mama so old God signed her. 16 91 birthday birthday card birthday cards birthdays forgetful forgetfulness greetings card greetings cards handstand handstands happy birthday knickers memory memory loss old age second childhood upside-down young youth youthful. Also available on: Scroll for more cartoons. View more 'happy birthday' cartoons here Making jokes about getting old is only appropriate and funny when people aren't really that old yet, so I'm going to just wish you a very serious happy birthday. Just because you're getting older doesn't mean you are growing up 60 Officially Grumpy Old Man 60th Birthday Card. $3.45. 15% Off with code ZAZPARTYPLAN. . Funny Birthday Card for Old Man Lizard Joke Custom. $3.85. 15% Off with code ZAZPARTYPLAN. . Male Baby Boomer Birthday Card

A humorous Birthday Card with lots of added personality will make their day, and you can create exactly that card in a few easy steps at a cost that will make you smile. All our cards are free for you to print from our website on your home printer or share online via email or Facebook from your phone, computer, or tablet Blaze It: Dog Years 60th Birthday Unisex T-Shirt. Ideal for the man half of man's best friend, this paw-printed shirt says In Dog Years I Am 420.. That's 60 x 7, so not only is it funny, but it's mathematically accurate! It can also serve as a sly tip of the hat to pot smokers if grandpa likes to light up Thanks for reminding me that I'm not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart! You can't hide your age to others. Your hair is turning gray, and wrinkles appearing. So, tell the truth, is it your 50th, or you're lying. Funny 50th Birthday Messages. Don't ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions

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